Shit Stories: Part Number Two
As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.
Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.
( , Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.
Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.
( , Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
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There's been a number of times.
I've not checked the public bog paper situation and had to resort to my socks.
I'm dreading the time in summer when I'll be wearing sandals and don't have that option. I know it's coming..... :(
My brother in law is a right one (He has work odd shoes to work before, and wondered why he was walking funny)
Apparently he was walking towards the bus stop to go to work. After a weekend on the lash, he's a bit windy. Forcing one out he shits himself, and feels it running down the back of his legs. Going home, he opens the door and tells his wife she's going to have to give him a lift into work. Without batting an eyelid she says "You've shit yourself haven't you?"
I've done something similar once. It was on a works night out, and we went for an italian. Fairly decent meal, pretty bland, although it tasted a bit odd, but not unpleasantly so. I was on the 40 minute buss ride home, pretty drunk and my stomach starts grumbling at me.
"Hmmm, that's a bit loud, and by christ, it's churning pretty badly"
Things very quickly go from mild amusement and childish sniggering as I fire off fart after fart, to gripping the handrail in front, eyes rolling and pouring with sweat with a small ball of burning ice in the front of my gut. I can remember the point it stopped being funny. It was mid fart where I just reined it in, in time. The "Oh oh. This isn't feeling too good" moment.
I was three stops away from home. There were bushes around a public park next to two lakes. I really don't want to go outside, but that option is no longer an option. It's going to happen, it's just a small matter of time.
As I get off the bus my waters broke. My gut clenched as I couldn't last any longer. I now start to feel really, really sick and figure it'd be better to get home. Involuntary spasm after involuntary spasm forced what I can only assume to be food poisoning out of my system. I've never felt so dirty in my life, walking the rest of the mile or so home with my abdomen clutching, ensuring the rest of the bad food was expelled. It was like a sine wave of filth. down - *phhhhtttt* "Oh jesus", over the worse, top - *pthhhhh* "oh come on.... please...." - down *pthhhhhh* *sobbing*
It was when I threw up down my front that things went from bad to worse. :(
( , Mon 31 Mar 2008, 11:24, Reply)
I've not checked the public bog paper situation and had to resort to my socks.
I'm dreading the time in summer when I'll be wearing sandals and don't have that option. I know it's coming..... :(
My brother in law is a right one (He has work odd shoes to work before, and wondered why he was walking funny)
Apparently he was walking towards the bus stop to go to work. After a weekend on the lash, he's a bit windy. Forcing one out he shits himself, and feels it running down the back of his legs. Going home, he opens the door and tells his wife she's going to have to give him a lift into work. Without batting an eyelid she says "You've shit yourself haven't you?"
I've done something similar once. It was on a works night out, and we went for an italian. Fairly decent meal, pretty bland, although it tasted a bit odd, but not unpleasantly so. I was on the 40 minute buss ride home, pretty drunk and my stomach starts grumbling at me.
"Hmmm, that's a bit loud, and by christ, it's churning pretty badly"
Things very quickly go from mild amusement and childish sniggering as I fire off fart after fart, to gripping the handrail in front, eyes rolling and pouring with sweat with a small ball of burning ice in the front of my gut. I can remember the point it stopped being funny. It was mid fart where I just reined it in, in time. The "Oh oh. This isn't feeling too good" moment.
I was three stops away from home. There were bushes around a public park next to two lakes. I really don't want to go outside, but that option is no longer an option. It's going to happen, it's just a small matter of time.
As I get off the bus my waters broke. My gut clenched as I couldn't last any longer. I now start to feel really, really sick and figure it'd be better to get home. Involuntary spasm after involuntary spasm forced what I can only assume to be food poisoning out of my system. I've never felt so dirty in my life, walking the rest of the mile or so home with my abdomen clutching, ensuring the rest of the bad food was expelled. It was like a sine wave of filth. down - *phhhhtttt* "Oh jesus", over the worse, top - *pthhhhh* "oh come on.... please...." - down *pthhhhhh* *sobbing*
It was when I threw up down my front that things went from bad to worse. :(
( , Mon 31 Mar 2008, 11:24, Reply)
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