i'm really bad at maths
but even i can do this equation:

dark, wet, rainy night + slimy stinking canine/human turd on the pavement / slightly pissed lawyer running in high heels to get out of the rain before hair goes curly = 1 x bruised bum, 1 x stinking and ruined suit, 1 x laddered tights, 1 x total loss of dignity

it was NOT a good end to the night.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 14:42, 7 replies)

Did anyone see you?
if no-one witnessed it, it never happened!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:25, closed)

too late for that
she's told us

that confirms that it happened

unfortunate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:40, closed)

Bridget Jones strikes again...

( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 16:17, closed)

Ewww, that's even worse than getting the "silent footstep"
if there's anything more disgusting than dog shit, I don't want to know about it.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 16:42, closed)

er
from memory, bridget jones got to roll around in the sack with both hugh grant AND colin firth.

not a pavement in kensington trying to escape the loving embrace of a turd of dubious origin.

i binned the suit, the tights, the shoes and the bag. if i could have binned my skin, i would have done!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 17:07, closed)

Colin Firth isnt all he's cracked up to be...
He wouldnt even give me a reach-around, dammit!
(Vic Flange, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:30, closed)

Are you sure you're not some kind of unfortunate cross of Ally McBeal
And Bridget Jones?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 20:21, closed)