Considering that it's April Fools day today
I might have a go at 'The Choppy' this morning.

1) Enter cubicle and lift up the lid AND seat.
2) Lay a cable across the edge of the pan at the front.
3) Wipe yourself up.
4) Lower seat carefully onto poo.
5) Leave the area.

When the next person comes to use the toilet and sits down,
they will put pressure on the seat and chop the poo in half,
with one piece falling off into their kecks around their ankles.
This should prove confusing for the unfortunate victim.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:10, 4 replies)

And if I caught someone trying to do that to me,
I'd pick up the turd and force it into their gob.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:17, closed)

Tough guy huh?
And how would you know who did it????
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:21, closed)

I'd remember the person I saw walking away from the bogs
with a grin on their face.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:27, closed)

I
always lift the seat in case there's a lurking red-back spider there waiting to sink its teeth into my pods (there's always a first time here in tropical Warwickshire, and I don't want them to be mine that get gnashed), so you wouldn't get me matey.

I might however get a kicking from Gordon Brown's Arsehole after he sees me walking away grinning at my lucky escape.
(Rsoles, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 11:44, closed)