Miscarriage.

Singing ringing tree brings to mind an incident from times well past.

I used to work on a large Government site in the North of England which, at that time, had a fine mix of old dears and very young flighty things (to use the old vernacular). Anyway, there was one particular area known as the long corridor which seemed to be home to about 2,000 clerical workers and as you may imagine the toilet use was rather heavy. On this particular day one of the older ladies had been to the loo and walking into the cubicle was greeted with a view straight form Tarantino. The bowl was spattered all over with blood and the water was a deep burgundy. There was also a dark shadowy intimation of something solid in the bottom of the pan, obscured as it was by the burgundy fluid.

Unfortunately the said lady was weak of eye and in her haste to peer more closely managed to bend over too quickly, get a nosefull of the bloody aroma and instantly puke. Without thinking she flushed to clear the evidence. On returning to the office she explained what she had seen to one of her friends and the Chinese Whispers started. Before long the news was spreading like wildfire of an unconfirmed miscarriage, a DIY abortion and even more spurious flights of fancy.

Now one old dear , who was known for her unwillingness to gossip, had been sitting quietly keeping her peace but getting slowly but surely scarlet. Eventually she stood and with quiet dignity uttered the immortal phrase

"Alright, alright!! I was constipated and my piles let go. Happy now?"

And with that she collected her possessions, went home sick and stayed there for the rest of the week.

Length? Must have been impressive to do that sort of impersonation.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:57, Reply)