Chased out of the cellar by a Poo Golem
Basically the upstairs bog wouldn't flush properly, and a foul smell was starting to come up from the cellar of the house. Muggins here was duly dispatched to investigate.

I teetered precariously down the rickety wooden staircase to be presented with a 6" deep grey sea of flood water stretching before my eyes.

"You have to do something" says my lady housemate.

"Right" says I, and off I go, bucket in hand to try and drain the level a bit.

A couple of hours, and many shit grey buckets of effluent later I locate what looks like small drain cover. Brilliant, thinks I. If I can can open it, I'll be able to drain the cellar and all my problems will over.

So I prod the cover with a stick. It gives slightly. Wierd, this obviously isn't a metal drain cover. I prod some more. There is a slight gurgling sound. Excellent I think, I must be getting somewhere. One last prod...

I gave a mighty blow and there was a very loud gurgling noise. I backed off nervously when all of a sudden a mighty shite-geyser erupts under my feet. All the backed up sewage, which had been held at bay was released and fountained upward in a grey cloumn. In the dim light it looked like a giant shit golem, raising from the ground and reaching out toward me...

Apparently from outside all my housemate heard was a gurgle, a massive whumping sound and a shrill cry of terror. She then saw what appeard to be a shiit-covered version of her flat-mate streaking out of the cellar and collapse retching in the kitchen.

The smell, ugh, undescribable.

Moral of the story? Flushing tampons leads to Lovecraftian manifestations. Every time.

Length? Ooh 100 yards in 3.5 seconds...
(Mr_B, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:51, 6 replies)

"lovecraftian manifestations"
just earnt you a click :)
(Reverend Samson Fapohunda B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:18, closed)

I really shouldn't read qotw in the office
People always wonder what I'm giggling at.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:40, closed)

"Not born. SHIT into existence. No man of woman born."

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:43, closed)

Haha
Right on Resident.. the Golgothan shit demon!
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 18:43, closed)

I just wish...
I could have heard that scream.
(anotherlogan and the whit he shites, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:23, closed)

pff
i knew someone would post a pic of the golgothan
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 17:50, closed)