Street End Incontinance (bowel)
I've shit my self before. That was pretty embarrassing. I was feeling none too well and walking home from the train station (I should point out at this point - It was 7 O’clock in the morning and I'd been ingesting everything alcoholic/drug related for the past 12 hours) As I walked through the quiet streets my stomach made herself known. Rumbling is a bit of cliche - let's go for a..GROWL. Bubbles were popping down in the lowest part of my gut and a sudden cramp made me stagger into a waist high wall. I was at the end of my road, only a 20 second walk away to my front door. A hot rush hit the back of my knees. A faint sound of liquid brown smattering the floor. A warm foul rush assaulted my nose. Yes. I was 30 and had shit myself in the street.

Wibbly lines

I was four, desperate for the toilet, daddy took me into the ladies cubicle and waited outside. We were at a railway station. I tried all the doors. They all had ladies in them. I felt myself losing control. "Please" I shouted "I neeeed the toilet". Reply there came none. "Pleeease" I was 4 and no bitch shouted “Wait a minute!“ “What’s wrong?“ they just let me cry and shit myself. And I shit myself in the toilets of a railway.

Wibbly lines

Excellent. Walking anywhere with shit on you is unpleasant. Nodding to the odd neighbour and the FUCKING POSTMAN (Who hadn't delivered to my door before 12 before. Bastard) makes the experience more harrowing.

I got to my front door, only to encounter another rebel descent from my arse.

Those jeans were fucking ruined.
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:23, Reply)