This happened about a year ago in Norwich.
It was my sister's 18th, and so me and her friends all went to Lucky star (a chinese restaurant) for a buffet style chinese meal. Food was good, and after a while the Absynthe was being passed around. Then I wasn't very experienced with alcohol, and so after a few sips I was very happy.

Then I decided to be daring and eat the spiciest and hottest food available, whilst having to drink 4 glasses of coke, all in a minute. This was then followed by two full bowls of ice cream, and major indigestion.

So, about 15 minutes later, every hole in my body needed to expel. So I ran to the Big Norwich library thing (I still don't know the name), to go to shit, throw up, etc. These were closed except the disabled one, and I was too chicken to request the door to be opened through the microphone. This led to go to the next shop.

The next shop was McDonalds, which unfortunately for me closed the toilets at a certain time.

Finally, the final shop was a small coffee shop with open toilets. I ran to them, where only the disabled toilet was free. So I took shit number one in there.

As soon as I heard flushing I knew another toilet was free. The ladie's. This is where I took shit 2 and throw up 1.

When I thought I had finished, I flushed. All the toilet paper and solids that hadn't digested blocked the toilet, and made it start to run. I also started to run, but to the next toilet which was made available half way through the job.

Final toilet was the men's. Here I took my final shit (when you have the runs, there's always the end part that seems to trickle out if you push hard enough). Whilst having this shit, I needed to be violently sick again, and so I had to quickly turn round and spew. This toilet didn't run, but there were marks that were too high for the water to wash off in the pan.

After this, I quickly but carefully walked out (trying not to raise suspicion of my long period of time in the toilets with the manager) to greet everyone having a coffee outside. I drank their coffees and explained in a bit less detail, and we left.

Next time I'll say no to...well everything.
(lickmyballsandscrotum, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 6:37, Reply)