It's Wednesday! I'm bored at work! And I'm soooo sorry...
With apologies to Billy Connolly...

A guy walks into an optician shop. He goes up to the counter, and places a violin case upon it.

The optician looks at the man quizzically and asks, “I’m sorry, can I help you at all”?

“Aye”, says the man, “it’s about this”, indicating the violin case.

“It’s a violin case”, states the optician, slightly puzzled.

“I KNOW it’s a violin case”, the man replies. “Look inside it”.

The optician shrugs, and opens the case, then promptly snaps it shut again. For inside the case, and filling every last bit of space, is a turd of monumental proportions, the likes of which have never been seen before. “Oh, for God’s sake”! he shouts. “You dirty, filthy bastard, how dare you come into my shop and sully my counter with that FILTH! It’s a bloody doctor you need, not an optician, you animal”.

The man shakes his head and says quickly, “No, no you don’t understand – every time I do one of those, my eyes water”.




/Coat
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Apr 2008, 13:21, 5 replies)

And...
following chickenlady's rant earlier, I have now just gone back and corrected my errors...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Apr 2008, 13:33, closed)

It's not fun is it....
Being chastised by a small curly haired harriden.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 13:42, closed)

I'm very proud of you.

*Edit*
@ BGB

I love you. That's the first time *ever* in my life I've been called small!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 13:42, closed)

Chickenlady...
Compared to me - everyone's small.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 14:27, closed)

BGB
Amazonian I'd call it, or statuesque...but I like the sound of Amazonian - I attempt to be one myself a lot of the time but I have an unfortunate love of all things pink and fluffy...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 16:35, closed)