and why not this one, in that case:
To A Penis

Poor wee saft an’ flabby penis
Hours o’ pleasure ye hae gei us.
An hour or twa ago wee thing
Ye made a lassie’s glad heart sing.
She doted oan the love ye geid
An’ lost wi’ joy, her maidenhead.
But noo wee thing ye look sae sad
Ye’re jist nae guid tae Rabbie lad.
An’ as I slowly puff ma pipe
Ye look jist like some wrinkled tripe.
But still, Ye did a guid nicht’s work
Ye did yer duty, didnae shirk,
Ye carried oan, Geid Rabbie pleasure,
So lie doon an’ rest, ye’ve earned yer leisure.
Yer wabbit oot an saft as butter
But hoo ye made Jean Armour splutter.
She shook jist like a trimmlin jelly,
As ye went skuddin’ up her belly.
Her bonny thighs, her arse sae braw
Did answer natures wildly ca’.
Ye fairly lowped at what ye saw,
Those michty breasts, sae firm an’ braw.
An’ when ye began the glorious poke,
Oh, the joy o’ every stroke.
Then as ye finished a’ yer work,
I gasped wi’ each an’ every jerk.
‘Twas prood I wis o’ ye, guid Penis
Oh, hoo ye worked sae gay atween us.
Then , as Jean an’ I lay in the straw,
My pair we thing , ye faded awa’.
Ye geid yer a’ tae satisfy,
The urgent need o’ Jean an’.
An, noo my bonny Jean’s gone hame,
Ye hing yer heid in sorrowed shame.
Ye’re no the Yin that I should blame,
But ye did me wrang when ye came.
As love’s sweet song ye wildly sang,
I kept ye in her far too lang.
So while future’s tae be seen,
Perhaps there’s a bairn for bonny Jean.
Ah, weel a’ we men tok’ oor chances,
Let’s saunter doon tae Poosie Nancy’s
An’ when we’ve had a dram or twa,
I’ll let ye piss agin the wa.
Ye’ll maybe pardon my abuses
An’ realise ye’ve ither uses.
An’ while ye droop an’ hing yer heid,
Ye’ll hae satisfied ma ither need.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 14:44, Reply)