Turdy McShit
Last year after a boozy Friday night I awoke needing a rather urgent piss. I stumbled downstairs to the toilet realising that I was already late for meeting my chums in town so I hurried out the door not long after.
I returned home at around 4pm to be greeted by my flatmate Dan with a smirk on his face as he announced that I had done a massive shit in the toilet that wouldn't flush away.
Strange, I thought, I didn't recall shitting a girthy stool out of my penis that morning.
I was led to the toilet where there was indeed a massive turd that stubbornly refused to flush away.
I recounted my morning’s activities to Dan including that fact that there had not been any faecal matter present when I had my piss. I started asking more questions upon which it was discovered that his new girlfriend had 'discovered' the turd.
Suddenly Dan wasn't smirking anymore but guess who was...

After the girlfriend had gone home on Sunday we had more of a laugh over it even naming the log Turdy McShit.
We used up a bottle of bleach trying to dethrone the usurper to no avail (if only I'd known about the kettle trick!). Finally on the following Wednesday I got home from work and headed straight for a piss. There was Turdy languishing in the (until then) calm waters. I directed the full spray at him trying to break bits off. I finished up and flushed and to my amazement he had gone. I ran into the living room with all the excitement of a seven year old on Christmas morning to tell Dan the news.

We never spoke of it again and she didn't lay any more cable as stubborn as Turdy.
(Phelpsy Bollocks trapped behind radiator since, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 16:42, 2 replies)

You got a click
for Turdy McShit

I'll read your story now :)
(Reverend Samson Fapohunda B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 17:45, closed)

Turdy McShit is my birth name
100% true fact
(pharmatron Death or Scunthorpe? CHOOSE!!, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 7:54, closed)