Christian teacher
I had a teacher when I was 11 who was a Christain nutter. She'd sit at her desk reading the Bible and occasionally spout off about Jesus. Then one day she decided that we were going to have a class confession. We'd all stand up and reveal a 'sin' we'd committed recently, the rest of the class would forgive us and we'd sit down.

I don't think the teacher was prepared for what she had unleashed. My own confession, that I persistently called Tracey Cook "Concorde" on account of her enormous nose was perhaps the least interesting. Others included:

- Moira Kelly's admission that she'd wet her pants that very day.
- Ruth Jones' admission that she'd been stealing from her mum for years
- Jonathan Pearce's admission that he played with his dog's winkle
- Richard Varney's admission that he'd shat on the toilet seat in the school lavs

But the real revelation was that the few guys who played football had a shoplifting ring. They went into town each Saturday and stole shin pads, gloves and kit wholesale to sell to others. It was of such a scale that it was registering on civic statistics. They agreed to take everything back to the shops and apologise - which of course they didn't do.

Naturally, the upshot of this confession day was that those kids who had admitted something personal had the piss ripped out of them for the rest of their school careers - particularly poor "Piss Pants" Kelly and "Dog Dick" Pearce. I made sure to guarantee my future damnation by calling Tracey Cook "Concorde" again immediately after the lesson.
(frankspencer, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 10:29, 1 reply)

hahaha!
That is awesome Frank - nice one!
(Reptilianoid, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 11:19, closed)