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This is a question Shoplifting

When I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.

My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.

What have you lifted?

(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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Last year I was at the hairdressers for a quick trim when in walks the local druggie carrying a heavy object under his arm. He's well known in the area and is usually quite pleasent as he's constantly trying to sell you the latest items he's shoplifted so he can get his smack as quick as possible. The hair dressers tolerate him as he doesn't hang around too long and he's entertaining enough.
This time he sits down next to me and starts showing everyone the vacuum cleaner he's just nicked.

"I've just lifted this vac from the window of Curries," he exclaimed proudly. "Top of the range, yours for............fifty quid".
"I don't think so," came the reply around the salon.
"Alright........twenty quid".
Still no one was entertaining him.
"Watch this, all this hair on the floor, gone."

He lent over to the plug sockets and plugged it in. A light appeared on the front of it and a quiet whirring sound started up. Our druggie friend couldn't find the nozzel so he just pushed it across the floor through all the hair clippings, nothing was happening, but he persevered.
As I watched this bizarre demonstration I began to feel cold, so I took a closer look and realised his problem.

"That's not a vacuum cleaner," I said.
"what do you mean?"
"It's an air conditioner...to keep your house cool".
"................a fiver then".

He ended up leaving it behind. There's not really the market for air conditioners in Glasgow.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 12:35, 2 replies)
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 12:37, closed)
best story so far
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 15:01, closed)

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