earring fetish
in my teen years, i was a mite obsessed with earrings. i had 7 in one ear, 5 in the other. poor parents meant little pocket money, so i had to get my finery on 5-finger discount. the local shopping centre had a place called superdrug, which had a large selection of earrings at that time. being blessed with an extremely ample bosom, i would go in, find a pair i liked, then slip them into my cleavage when no-one was looking and leave with my purloined booty.
this wenrt on for about 6 months, i had well over a hundred pairs of earrings by this time.
then, one day, i was strolling out of the store with a particularly fine pair, when my way was blocked by the store manager and a burly security guard. "too much," says i, "nicked!"
i was indeed.
i was frogmarched through to the back of the store, to await the police, in the company of the burly guard. he was actually quite a nice bloke, we had a laugh and he told me they'd been trying to catch me for months!
the police arrived and carted me off to a holding cell. they reopened the door 5 minutes later, to see why i was laughing. my brother's name, my sister's name and the names of most of my friends had been scratched into the back of the door! i found this somewhat amusing.
i was photographed, fingerprinted, cautioned and released. three hours after being arrested, i was home. amazingly, i didn't get the bollocking i'd been expecting, but the look of pure sorrow and despair on my mother's face ensured that i have never stolen anything again.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 1:36, 1 reply)

Did you
get the idea from the film of Guys and Dolls? I seem to remember a scene where pickpockets would drop jewellry down their amble bosoms to hide it. Made quite an impression on a young me as I recall.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 2:30, closed)