ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
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chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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Drunk PizzaOne fateful evening after spending eternity in the 8th level of hell that is the provincial nightclub, my companions and I decided tomato and cheese on toast, or pizza, was the order of the day.
Whilst waiting for my greasy, scooter riding Italian national dish cooked by Iraqis I got bored and in my drunken wisdom decided to steal some menus that had just been delivered. from the printers.
They were heavy and coupled with my lack of balance and the necessity to wait for my pizza I made a poor getaway and was stopped just outside.
"Oi, where the fuck are you going with those" the irate Iraqi shouted.
Mustering the kind of indignation that only a drunk person can I replied, "they're for my mates, I'm doing you a business favour".
"You've got 20,000 mates have you?!"
"Yes, well no, but, you can never have too many and anyway i got loads of mates, look thats one over there!"
"Give them back"
"OK.... sorry, can i have my pizza now please".
"Yeah, now piss off".
Rubbish steal.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 17:35,
1 reply)
rubbish steal,but truely bloody hillarious, i can just picture a drunken bumbling guy stood outside a kabab shop ith a box of menus, made me piss it did
(, Wed 16 Jan 2008, 11:09, closed)
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