Herman Munster
My brother Des had all the best genetics in my family, he was (and still is) a really pretty boy, blond hair, blue eyes, and well muscled (due to being in a wheelchair as a nipper), so one ofthe names Dad called him (affecionatley) was Herman the German, as he looked like an Aryan poster boy.

When Des was 14 (and desparate to hang out with his Brothers and thier mates, drinking cider in the park) a local shoe warehouse burned down. We all did the sensible thing, and robbed the place blind of anything that could be considered remotely useful (all the local dads wore bright orange, smokey industrian trainers for ages after),

What I stole was OK, but I managed to pick up a pair of 14 lace holed walking boots with 5mm steel spikes in the sole. I have never seen the like of these things. They fitted my size 10 feet, but I couldnt wear them, as I would look a proper twat. They were religated to the shoe cupboard, awaiting inspiration, or the first Mackrill attempt on K2.

A month or so goes past, and I am looking for my leather bike jacket "Dessie took it, and went down the park" said Mam.

Bastard.

So I go off looking for him. As I took the corner there he is. Wearing my Jacket that is 6 sizes too big, and those stupid boots on his size 4 feet. He wanted Doc Martens, but we were skint. To a 14 year old, those boots were nearly the same thing.

He had zipped the coat up, and laced the boots tight, to try and keep the oversized garment from falling off his shoulders, however, the stiff leather made him keep his elbows and knees straight. All my mates were there, laughing so hard at him, they were falling off the bench.

When he tried to walk, he looked like Fankenstiens' Monster, and made a loud cliking noise. From Herman the German, to Herman Munster.

In a rare moment(up to that point)of brotherly love, I went to him and said "Take my Jacket off, you prick, and dump those shoes, you look like a twat"

He didn't even tell me to fuck off he was so humiliated.

Strangley enough, that incident awoke the ghost of Brotherly concern and love which changed our relationship from squabling kids to adults.

Dessie is now the least twattish guy you could meet, and a real star, but whenever I see him, I can still see that 14 year old, who wanted so badly to fit in he turned himself into an object of ridicule.
(micmac is happy as a pig in shite, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 23:16, Reply)