Must kill brother...must kill brother...
It's 3.30pm on New Years Eve and I am at work. There is nobody else in the office. I don’t have to be here, my boss phoned me this morning and said take the afternoon off. My heart sank when he told me that. Why? Because my brother has been living dossing at my house for the past 2 weeks and if I don't get some space I am going to cave his fucking head in.

Let me explain the situation. I am a 31-year-old accountant; he is a 36-year-old IT wotsit. We both have our own houses but I live within walking distance of our parents house so he is staying with me over Christmas. Unfortunately he arrived a week before Christmas and is not leaving until the weekend. He seems to have regressed to his teenage years, the house is in a state and he has done nothing but sit on his arse in front of my TV and moan. It is the busiest time of year for me work wise so it is very hard for me to feel sympathetic for a man with 3 weeks holiday. I get 3 days off this year.

I am waiting until 4pm. That is when he fucks off to a friend’s house for the evening and I get my house back. Happy New Year everyone, sorry about the moan but I have a big fat balding middle-aged child taking advantage of my good nature.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 15:30, 3 replies)

Know the feeling (sorta!)
Mine decided that my spare room was his lodgings for a few months (talk about cramping my style!). As soon as he buggered off abroad, his mate came round & removed the bed, took a spare bit of kitchen worktop & turned the room into an office. His mate had also been on the receiving end of my brother hehe. Funnily enough, he didn't take up the offer of my sofa complete with cat jumping on his head at 4 in the morning with any kind of enthusiasm :). I can highly recommend subterfuge.
( Whodathunkit, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 16:40, closed)

Your brother
Is Craig from Malcolm in the Middle
(twoheads Is currently broke on, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 17:50, closed)

Your brother is my Ex!
apart from the hair..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 1 Jan 2009, 15:16, closed)