Bad Sex
In our small terraced house in the mid eighties, me and my brother were often subjected to the sounds of our randy step-dad defiling my mum at ridiculous volumes and at all times of day or night (jesus fucking christ this still makes me shudder when I remember bringing friends home to watch a video and my mum was at it so loudly with the step dad that we had to leave and go sit outside).

Anyway, on one such occasion it was early morning one saturday and the strange sounds had started in the adjacent bedroom and we were woken up again to the sound of my mother being tortured in such a horrid way... So my older brother Shaun tells me to go in to the next room "and tell mum and Tom to stop shagging". So obviously at 4 years old there was only one thing I could do which was to walk in to the next room and say"

"Muuuuuum..... Shaun says you should stop shagging"...

Fair to say that they did stop shagging and my brother got a bollocking for teaching his younger brother rude words For interrupting their sexy time...
(aroe_m0rre, Thu 1 Jan 2009, 17:42, 2 replies)

*Click!*
That's brilliant, I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel, if I were her. Mortified doesn't cover it..
There but for the grace of God, or a ball gag ..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 10:50, closed)

And that is why
All my pillows have bite marks on them.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 17:12, closed)