It's tricky
Obviously I'd have preferred to have known my entire life - I have a friend who's adopted and it's always been made clear to her that's the case. That way, it wouldn't have come as such a shock when she finally did tell me. She said that she was going to tell me when I was sixteen, then eighteen, then twenty-one, but life kept getting in the way.

My instant thought when I read your response was 'They shouldn't tell him!' but I know that's not the right response, just the emotional one. When I was told, something shifted in my brain, some biological imperative to recover and discover that missing 50% of my heritage. It almost felt like the final piece of the jigsaw fell into place, although I know that'll happen when I find him.

So my advice would be, if they think if could handle it, he should know. And the sooner the better.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 6:19, Reply)