Just plain terrible
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute, quadraplegic kid get for christmas?
A: Cancer

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A: She's a woman.

Q: How do you start a stampede in Mexico?
A: Roll a nickel down the street.
Q: How do you find the richest man in Mexico?
A: Find the guy who caught the nickel.

Ok. So a guy goes to Paris and his friends, who are locals, tell him that he has to go see this french whore who can give the greatest blowjob ever while singing the french national anthem.
So the guy goes to the hooker and she takes him inside, turns off the lights, and gives an amazing blowjob while singing the french national anthem.
When it's over, he asks her how she does it. She says it's a trade secret. He goes back again, and the same routine is followed. Lights go off, blow job begins, and it's followed by singing.
She still refuses to tell him, so he goes back one more time, and midway through the national anthem, he flicks on the lights and the whore runs out of the room screaming. All that is left is a glass eye on the table.

A man takes his grandson on a tour of his hometown. First they come to a cottage. The grandfather explains that he helped build that cottage with his own two hands. "But they don't call you a cottage builder in this town for that," the grandfather says.
Next, they come to a bridge, and the grandfather tells his grandson that he spent his entire junior year in high school helping to build that bridge. "But they don't call you a bridge builder in this town for that," the grandfather says.
A few minutes later, evidently in nostalgic thought, the grandfather almost thinks outloud, "But if you fuck a goat just one time..."

I'll just stop here.

Also, this almost made me wet myself. It's "The Aristocrats"!
(Armer Farmer, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:42, Reply)