No apologies. At all. Ever.
Mr Jones gets a phone call from the hospital. His wife was in a car accident.

He arrives and the doctor pulls him in to a quiet office.

"I'm sorry to say your wife was in an accident" The doctor says. Mr Jones sits down.
"She has a broken back" He continues. Mr Jones starts to well up.
"She will be unable to walk again" Tears start.
"You'll have to spoon feed her..." more tears
"You'll need to nappy/diaper her because she won't be able to go to the toilet on her own..." even more tears and a small sob
"You'll have to roll her over every two hours because of bed sores..." more sobs, floods of tears.
"You'll have to bathe her yourself..." starts to slump on the floor...
"She'll constantly shit and piss herself..." on the floor crying, sobbing, and a slight wail.
"You'll have to communicate for her because she won't be able to..." He's wailing out loud
The doctor leans over and touches his shoulder gently...

"Dude, I'm just fucking with you...She's dead".
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Fri 16 Dec 2005, 12:26, Reply)