I first heard this in primary school
On his tenth birthday, a father asks his son what he most wants in the world. 'It can be anything,' he says, 'anything at all.'

'Oh boy!' says the son, 'In that case Dad, could I rent a whore?'
'Erm, well, no you can't son.'
'Why not?'
'Well it's illegal to have sex until you're 16 son.'
'Can I hire one then Dad?'
'Yes, of course you can.'
***
On his 16th birthday, as promised a whore comes to the house.
'Oh thank you Dad!' cries the boy, 'Is it okay if I open it now?'
'Yes of course son,' replies Dad, 'Thank fuck your mother's dead eh?'
So the son goes to the bedroom, where he suddenly realises he doesn't actually know what to do, so does the only thing he can, and asks his dad.
'Dad,' he shouts through, 'She's taking her clothes off, what do I do?'
Take your clothes off too son.'
About twenty seconds later the son shouts 'Dad, she's getting into my bed.'
'Get into your bed too son.'
'She's kissing me dad.'
'Kiss her too son.'
'Dad what's hap-'
'That's an erection son.'
'Right.'
After a pause a panicky voice shouts 'What do I do now Dad?'
'Put your big hairy thing into her big hairy thing son.'
A few minutes later the father hasn't heard anything else from the bedroom so assumes his son must be doing well, until he hears a muffled cry of 'Dad, my head's stuck.'
(thePontificator, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 20:34, Reply)