Long Range flatulance
After uni my first job was in a factory and after a pleasent evening at the local brewery i was trying and failing at letting out a couple of silent farts (i previously had great success with what i later discovered to be called crop dusting while passing through the welding shop) while we were all standing around outside waiting for the buzzer to go and the working day to begin. they were so evil that nobody was fooled when i claimed that they were not mine.

so about half an hour later i am standing at one end of the warehouse and a couple of my collegues were down the other end knowing i would get the blame for any arse gas that day i shouted to get thier attention and went for the combined bent knee and elbow motion as i pushed out a particularly big one.

moments later they were shouting at me, pulling their shirts up over their noses and claiming that i must have "pulled mud with that one".

length? around 30 to 40 meters (thankfully i was able to hold the rest in until the walk home)
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 23:37, 1 reply)

Ewww
Reminds me of a chap I once worked with. Night shift in a supermarket. I don't know what his diet was like but the end result could clear an entire aisle. Woe betide anyone who needed to use the toilet within half an hour of him having done his business in there.
( Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 23 Oct 2014, 0:35, closed)