Aint it justa kick in the nuts
Many years ago I used to play 5 a side football of a fairly high standard.

They guy that uses to give us a lift, Alex, used to be the type of guy that was a fad monster, for example if he got into mountian biking he would have to go out and spend 3k on a brand new mountain bike....this used to annoy me and my mates a bit.......just setting the scene.

anyways I was known for my long distince shooting as I used to have a fairly cultured right foot, all i remember about the incident was a 6ft 4in Alex bearing down on me, bearing in mind I was in my own half I had already decided to shoot. I blasted the ball one of those shots where your foot hardly feels the contact as it was hit so sweetly. Next thing I know Alex had blocked the ball...damn i thought...but as the scene unfolded it appeared alex had made a world class tackle with his nuts...Firstly his knees buckled togther then his eyes rolled back in his head as he dropped to his knees.....Alex was also known for his temper too so was not best pleased with having his nuts crushed.

Too make matters worse 10 mins later I went for a shot again....you got it, Alex goes in for the tackle and takes another one square in the nuts. this time squirming round like he's just been shot in the groin.

He starts yelling at me, "if these don't work when i get back your a dead man" How he was going to impreganate a woman so quickly on his return is anyone's guess.

Good news for Alex was they did work as he now has two kids at last count, unfortunately for him he had them with the harpy hairdresser from hell, who insisted she dumps all his mates if he wants to be with her, bearing in mind she had not met most of us including me he obliged like a lamb to the slaughter.

So having originally felt bad for destoying Alex's nuts twice in one game I now see it as pre emptive karma strike and if you can dump your mates that quickly you don't deserve to breed imo.

Sorry for typos, i'm on a worldwide sales call for my upcoming kickoff...zzzzzzzz
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 16:19, 2 replies)

High standard, long distance shooting and Five a side don't really gel, mate! Decent tale otherwise, but don't kid yourself, eh?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 22 Jan 2010, 16:40, closed)

Tis true, I never scored a goal that was struck before the halfway line. I think i only attempted it because my subconcious wanted Alex to feel the pain....twice in a game can't be a coincedence :S
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 17:07, closed)