Motorcycle Emptyheads
On the first day of motorcycle training, us n00bs were arrayed on our titchy little bikes, while the instructor started his speech astride his impossibly beefy (to our nervous eyes) throbbing 1000cc beast. "So," he said, "I'm going to ride around the cone course, to show you how it's done. If I can do it on this monster, you should have no trouble on your little step-thrus." And so saying he set off around the cones.

...and fell off at the first corner. Not surprisingly, we all pissed ourselves laughing - especially when he had to get some of us to help him pick up the bike.

But actually it helped, as we no longer saw him as the scary biker man -- now he was just another farty like us. And so we progressed through the course, until the day finally dawned and we took our tests.

My test went without problem, and I parked up with the others to watch the remaining candidates. One lass on a scooter was approaching a corner, when she managed to fuck up royally: rather than slowing, she accidentally grabbed a large handful of throttle. The bike shot forwards, hit a wall, and somehow bounced in such a way that it actually drove UP the wall. It came to rest about 2m up, hanging from the ivy that covered the brickwork. The rider had been deposited on the ground below, perfectly placed to receive, full in the face, the stream of petrol now pouring out of the tank filler cap...

Insert "pissed in her own mouth" joke here, if you like
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 8 Oct 2014, 13:48, 4 replies)

when my dad took his motorbike test many years ago
the instructor said that he would step out into the street to test the emergency stop.

my dad kept riding around the circuit and never saw him.

eventually it turned out he'd stepped out in front of the wrong bike and been carted off with a broken leg.

hmmmmmmmmmm. reading this back now, it strikes me that i might have swallowed an urban myth here. oh well. typed it now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Oct 2014, 13:58, closed)

Yer I know because it was my dad.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 8 Oct 2014, 14:06, closed)

The Urban Myth
...raises it's head again!!

Though I have no doubt that it must have happened to someone, somewhere. It could well have been one of your Dads*, so I shall not disbelieve either of you.

*Can someone point me in the right direction of the correct grammar for this sentence?
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 21:01, closed)

The title alone deserves a click...

But I also enjoyed the post very much...so have 2 clicks.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 8 Oct 2014, 14:15, closed)