Lad Rover Main Dealer
I took my Land Rover Defender to the main dealer to have the front diff seal replaced as it had started leaking quite badly.

They reckoned they would have it done in an hour so I decided to wait. It was a posh showroom all potted plants and stainless steel. Lots of pretty receptionists not doing a lot apart from brightening the place up!

I was shown to the waiting area (posh leather & wicker seats) and offered a cup of tea.

After 15 minutes I felt a slight rumble, which was the inevitable result of a spicy peppered steak last night and antibiotics (I was recovering from a chest infection) and let out a small but concentrated SBD fart.

The waiting area is at least 20 feet from the receptionists and after a bit of discrete wafting with a newspaper I thought I had got away with it....

Then one of the receptionists made her way over and plonked an air freshener on the display cabinet opposite me! Oooops Bugger!!
( Vambo, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 11:06, 2 replies)

Must get a real mix of people in a Land Rover dealership.
Mummy bringing her disco in to have the washer bottle topped up after dropping Tarquin and Jonquil off at ballet lessons, followed by farmer Giles in his sheepshit covered wellies getting the cows placenta scraped out of the air filter box.
(username failed moderation, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 11:15, closed)

Air-freshener subtlety,eh?
Had a similar experience on a long-haul flight when I had stomach cramps and a proper dose of brown rain that left my arsehole, in the words of Billy Connolly, "red-raw and hanging in tatters". As I left the bog a stewardess was already waiting outside with the air freshener to dilute my contribution to the plane's air quality.
(monkeylover, Thu 23 Jan 2014, 11:20, closed)