I have never smoked.
Never. It's just not something I've ever been into. I'm not a rabid anti smoking nazi or anything, in fact when they brought the smoking ban in up here in Scotland, I thought it was pretty much unworkable and a bit unfair on those who smoked.... it IS nice to have a quiet drink without hacking my lungs up now, but more often than not I either find myself sitting on my own while my mates have a crafty fag outside, or more usually standing in the pissing rain having a chat with the smokers in the smoking area.

It does, however, raise a question. Since I am not a smoker, have never been a smoker, and am incapable of breathing smoke without coughing great grebs of phlegm over everyone, why then are there so many photographs of me smoking lots of lovely big fags whenever I'm drunk?

The answer has dawned on me recently. My mates are cunts. They make me smoke their fags and take pictures of me. Next time they do it, I'm soaking their filter in lots of gooey man-spittles.

I have had the odd cigar though, but who hasn't?
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 21 Mar 2008, 18:14, Reply)