Regrets, I've got a few...
The literal soundtrack of my life is, for whatever reason, '74-'75 by The Connells. A beautiful song about being unable to recapture our youth with a music video of shots of the bands high school graduating class intercut with the same people years on. This isn't anything unique to me, but it always wells me up; I've got friends now in wheelchairs, friends who've gotten married, friends who've gone bald, friends in the army deployed in Afghanistan... A few have lived their dreams but so many haven't, the only thing we have in common is none of us are who we thought we'd be.

My victory jump-up-and-shout song is Jewel of the Summertime by Audioslave. I skip it every time it comes up on shuffle because I don't want to get tired of it, but every time a momentously good moment happens in my life, Jewel of the Summertime goes on and the volume gets cranked to 11. Lovely. Another favourite, probably my favourite of all time, is Just Like You Imagined by Nine Inch Nails, an instrumental which always sounds to me like the build up to, the peak of, and the chaotic aftermath of the last shuddering climax of a relationship you know is dead. Terminator Salvation used it as the soundtrack to the end of the world, but in moment those evens might as well be the same thing.

Now for some catharsis. Grab your ankles, we're going down hard.

The most depressing song of all time is Its a Motherfucker by Eels. I know this because it reminds me of someone I knew, someone I liked and knew liked me, but neither of us did anything about. Someone who's strength in her Jewish faith took ripe kindling to a lifelong interest in my own Jewish heritage and, long after we parted, was still the number one catalyst for my conversion to Judaism and life as a practicing Jew.

She shaped who I am, I credit her example and enduring impression on me with saving me at my lowest point. I'm forever grateful, but at the end of a hard day or the bottom of a lonely glass, I still regret that nothing came of it. Oh to be an awkward teenager again. Anyway, Emma, if you're out there, thank you, and I'm sorry. I hope everything worked out for you.

It's a motherfucker, being here without you. Talking to the walls (or in this case a faceless Internet website), just me again. Things will never be the same.

Fuck you Eels.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 13:53, 4 replies)

I want
It's a Motherfucker played at my funeral.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 14:01, closed)

ditto.
Beautiful song.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 14:24, closed)

I know it's a different album
but Electro-Shock Blues is a lovely album.
Depressing as fuck, but lovely. There are loads of songs that remind me of a friend I'm losing.

Mr E's had a tough old life :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Jan 2010, 16:07, closed)

I think I need to listen to that song.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 29 Jan 2010, 16:40, closed)