Craig David, Seeeven Days (almost)
No funnies but this is one QOTW I can definitely contribute to.

I'll keep the backstory brief, even though it felt like a lifetime when it was happening.

My brother forages for food - it's awesome, he'll find most of a meal growing wild for nothing. I've eaten foraged meals of his and they're mostly delicious, apart from the odd one which tastes more on the rectal side of "interesting". Another fact you need to know is that when he was younger he had a sort of quasi-ironic obsession with Craig David. You remember - "seven days" and "can you fiiill me iiiin".

Last spring he accidentally ate Hemlock. This is one of the half-dozen most deadly plants growing wild in the UK. It causes total body paralysis, including vital organs. He collapsed at his house and stopped breathing. He was airlifted to hospital, and his heart stopped at least once.

When I arrived there, he was in a coma. My family were there, and we held each other up as best we could, but it was a tough call. I hadn't seen my dad cry hysterically, ever, and it still makes me get pretty choked thinking about it. None of us were ready for him to die.

He stayed in a coma for six days. We spent most of that time in the intensive care waiting room. When they said they were going to try and bring him round we were terrified. He might not wake up - he might be braindead. If he did wake up, he might be brain damaged, as the time not breathing might have starved his brain of oxygen.

After an agonising wait whilst they brought him off the drug cocktail which had been keeping him alive, they let me and my other brother in. His eyes were half open. I started crying immediately just because he wasn't braindead. My other bro, who is well'ard, started talking to him, telling him things were going to be fine, that we'd been here all the time, that mum had kept a diary so that when he was back on his feet we could fill him in on what he'd missed.

without even thinking, i sang the little craig david line "fill you in" at him, like we used to as kids.

he smiled, and it was the best, most amazing thing i'd ever seen. cause that, that little smile, that meant that inside that puffy, swollen, half-shaven face, those red, teary eyes, inside that head my brother was still in there and still knew me and our stupid in-jokes.

craig david, thanks for making such bloody catchy music, you old bastard.
( greenish, Mon 1 Feb 2010, 20:59, 5 replies)

*snivels*
Beautiful.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 1 Feb 2010, 21:14, closed)

Wow
That is one lucky lucky guy :)
Have a click for him.
As a forager myself Ive heard many scary stories about hemlock, specially the water droplet variety.
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 1 Feb 2010, 21:27, closed)

i think
he mistook it for wild celery. foraging fail.

but generally the foraged meal is full of win, so don't let it discourage you!
( greenish, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 22:49, closed)

Can you pass me a
tissue, please. My eyes are leaking.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 0:07, closed)

*click*
nuff said
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 9:15, closed)