November 2002.
At Royal Surrey Hospital in Guildford.

In my bed, I had been left parked just outside the Operating Theatre, while the people inside did final prep.

On the floor by where I'd been parked, was a radio / cd player, tuned into a National Radio station.

Flooding from this was Culture Clubs' "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?"

The irony which filled the air could have been cut with a knife, a knife similar to which I was waiting to be cut with, also.

I'd been booked in for a "Bi-Lateral Mandibular Distraction, which for the sake of those with weak stomachs, details of can be found here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distraction_osteogenesis#Maxillofacial_Distraction_Osteogenesis
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:34, 7 replies)

that's some interesting stuff on the wiki page
might I ask why you needed the procedure?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:45, closed)

Reasons Why...
Because I had a "Malocclusion Of The Jaw" - or rather a 1" overbite.
Best thing I ever did was getting that fixed. The recovery wasn't pretty, and at times very painful - [I was getting through a packet of Nurofen a day.]
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 14:02, closed)

Mandibular Distraction?
Sound's like a tactic used when fighting Giant Scorpions
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 12:57, closed)

You Bastard
I just read this reply in lecture (pretending to type notes) and I fucking HURT trying not to laugh at this!

Had to disguise it as a coughing fit :-/
(Fleximus Rex briefly gave up lurking on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:11, closed)

Sounds like something I had
Except I had a Rapid Maxilliary Expansion (RME) brace. Where it says about patients turning a screw to increase the expansion - I did that, twice a day for a fortnight then once a day for another week after that because the first 2 weeks of torture hadn't expanded my jaw enough. They got an extra 6mm out of my top jaw though.

Bloody painful but I am so pleased I went through it, teeth are great now!
(sanity challenged, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 14:49, closed)

This Hurts...
I know the feeling - I had grub nuts on the end of bars sticking out of my mouth and had to turn them each 1mm per day for a couple of weeks. As the end of that time grew closer, the pain got worse - hence the Nurofen.

Given the improvement though, I'd gladly go through it again for the result.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 16:16, closed)

that would definitely be a distraction

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 15:29, closed)