Unsexy time
When I was a student way back when I staggered out of our Student Union bar after a fancy dress night dressed as one of the men in black. I had the sharp suit and the shades on even though it was the early hours of the morning which is my excuse for pulling an aggressively ugly swamp beast of a girl.

Anyway, I was horny so I walked her back to her halls of residence (all the way agonising over whether I really was going to go through with it) and when we got to her room she pushed me down on the bed and stuck her tongue down my throat. After a minute she pulled away and looked at me in a conspiritorial way then she walked over to her stereo and put on some "mood music". It was some godawful Marilyn Manson shite and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. The scales fell away from my eyes and when she nipped to the loo to freshen up I slipped out and did a runner.

I'd see her waddling around town for two years afterwards, neither of us ever giving eye contact.
( Hitler's Barber Soylent Green is high in saturated fat, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 20:14, Reply)