Nouveau Riche
The worst spoilt bastards are those from the nouveau riche families.

My wife's brother law, who shall be 'B' set up a successful business during the 80's. Although he was a bit of a flash git - big cigars, gold jewellery and a limited edition Mazda MX-3, he seemed reasonably down to Earth.

Unlike my wife's sister, 'C' (Mrs B) who was arguably the most condescending, snootiest old battleaxe this side of Wilmslow.

Fortunately, I am blissfully tactless, combined with a borderline-tasteless wit. Even now, my wife has to warn people before she introduces me.

'C' bought the Old Roses Royal Doulton tea-service and had it displayed on a dresser in the dining room. I suspect she bought it for the simple fact it was expensive. When I first saw it, my first comment was "ooh, pricey", which the faux-snobbish old sow took as a compliment.

However, one day we were invited to her granddaughter's christening. Her granddaughter was about the same age as my eldest son at the time (and I assume still is).

We all met at the church and then went back to her house where she'd put on a spread in their too-big-for-their-house conservatory. However, she'd not closed the blinds properly and the buffet had been dessicating nicely under the glass.

I said "Nice spread C, these sandwiches are a bit curly, were you going for the railway-buffet car experience?"

My wife nearly choked on a vol-au-vent. She then asked me to fetch a couple of sandwiches for my lad. I replied that he won't eat them as they were dry and curly.

Suffice to say, we were never invited there again; a blessing methinks.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 16:32, 1 reply)

Borderline tasteless?
I think you are beyond that Maudlin me old fruit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:40, closed)