My niece
I have a 12 year old niece who'se parents are basically fucked up beyond belief. The father of the niece is me wife's brother, and he's generally not that bad (except for being a money grabbing tax-dodger con-man he's actually a good laugh). The sis-in-law however is a complete fuckup. She believes that she is higher than everyone else and that with her upbringing and circle of higher-class friends she is above the rest of the family. Which is funny as when she was younger she used to live in a rough part of Swansea and had a violent criminal record, plus her bastard son is in and out of prison like it's a holiday home. It doesn't help that she's a 4 foot Danny Devito lookalike with makeup on either. Think Batman Returns and you're halfway there.
But anyways.
They idolize thier daughter to the point of suffocation and smother her with whatever she wants, ranging from a £1500 laptop for christmas to a complete bedroom refit (including giant mirrored cupboards and a 42" HD telly mounted on a wall). She only goes to the most exclusive private schools and lasts about a term before dropping out either due to bullying or the school "not being good enough for her". She must have the most finniky taste this side of a Masterchef episode as she only eats fresh salmon, will only drink bottled Evian and not tap water (although she funnily enough can't tell the difference up her grandparent's house as they just fill one from the tap and keep it in the fridge in case she visits) and if something has a tesco's label on it it's not edible. She drinks wine with some meals too (lucky cow, I get tescos sugar free lemonade; it doesn't have any artificial colourings though).
Even though there was a recent altercation with the rest of the family in which the niece rung my house up and screamed at my wife under her mother's instructions (see me blog for this, jeccius.blog.com) I still feel very sorry for how fucked up her life is. It's not her fault that she's a spoilt little bastard, it's her parents fault. I know it's not the case for every family, but in this case it's definately due to over-smothering by two fucktards which has warped her perception of life. She's never been allowed to have a proper childhood ffs, I mean last year for example they go over to Ireland to visit some family over there. On a day out they visit a beach and the kids play. The niece turns around to her uncle (me other brother-in-law, cmon, keep up :p) and says "Am I allowed to play like my cousins? I've never played on the beach before." She was 11 at the time. She lives in Swansea too, approxiately 10 minutes walking distance away from the coast. You'd swear they'd done a Fritzl on her.
Ah well, she'll at least get a great job when she's older....in Boots as a patronizing cow in the perfume department.

Oh god I do go on.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:30, 6 replies)

relations
They sound like my in-laws. Are we related?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:40, closed)

I don't know.....hmmmmm
PS I loved that QOTW answer in your profile with the spaz btw, made me laff like a loon :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:48, closed)

perfume department women
What is it with them and their orange face ways? Acting like gods gift FFS, i mean you're only flogging expensive smelly chemicals not doing a worthwhile job like nurse or policeman.
(imp123, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:43, closed)

They make ugly people smell acceptable.
They can't actually fix the ugliness though...but...um....they won't smell like ugly.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 17:49, closed)

hahahaha
haha the black sheep in my family works int he perfume department at boots!
(acharps, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:14, closed)

Even funnier that it's Boots....
Maybe they all aspire to hitting the big time in Debenhams or the fabled 'John Lewis'.
Edit: Apologies to any of you pretty counter ladies reading this - I'm sure you're different.
(Oil Slick, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 18:19, closed)