I finally achieved my dream of working for a toy company.
My first major project was introducing a new character to a flagging line. He was called Alfred. The story was that he was a witty and successful man, and yet a bitter, friendless alcoholic. He was significantly inspired by Tony Hancock.

If you pressed a button on his back he ranted angrily about his icy relationship with his parents and his recurring sexual impotence.

As well as Alfred himself, you could get a playset. It was a bleak and windswept plain, which was at once a distorted memory of his childhood in rural Scotland, and a representation of his inner sense of emptiness, of inability to connect meaningfully with other human beings. It was also to some extent a pastiche of the set of 'Waiting for Godot' - echoing Alfred's frustration at his perceived lack of true creativity.

While critically acclaimed, the toys were commercial failures. In the end not just Alfred, but the entire line was abandoned. And to this day, there are some who say that I'm the one who spoiled Bratz.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 2:17, 2 replies)

Bratz
were spoiled simply by existing.

Fuck that line. More like "Slutz".
(FredrickPendragon found this post to be in very bad taste on:, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 3:28, closed)

^this
any girl of that age who has collagen-plumped lips and bright red lipstick may as well lay in the street, legs spread, screaming "all comers welcome"
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 2:55, closed)