I'm sure everyone knows someone like this...
But that doesn't make them any less irritating.

A friend I went to university with went out with a guy who shall remain nameless for the duration of this story. He was a cock of the highest order. Allow me to proffer you my reasons why:

Firstly, he was born in Britain, but his (extremely wealthy) parents moved to Switzerland (couldn't possibly be for the tax reasons could it? Nahhhh.) He lived next door to Michael Schumacher. That should give you an idea of how wealthy we're talking. Unless Michael Schumacher lives on a swiss council estate and I've just got the wrong end of the stick...

Secondly, despite being born in Britain, living here for several years before moving, and English being his first language, he claims he's Swiss, and that French is his first language. It's not. And for some reason he speaks with an American accent.

Thirdly, he is one of the most self righteous tossers I have ever met, and almost entirely without a sense of humour. I once mentioned something in a conversation about the french proununciation of the word "vert" and how I thought it was pronounced "ver", and he butted in to correct me and to say that I was wrong and that it was pronounced with a hard T and that he should know because he's Swiss (not fucking French, but swiss). At which point my friend Kate butted in to point out that she was in fact French, and it is in fact pronounced "ver" in most regions of France, and that he was wrong, and a tosser for being so indignant about something he obviously knew fuck all about.

Fourthly, like most spoilt rich kids, he wants so desperately to be a rebel, and to this end has a mohican and wears the cheapest clothes he can find, often shopping in charity shops, in a sad attempt to travel the wrong way down that one way street that is being fucking loaded, as so many people with money try to do. "only the rich can afford to look poor" as the saying goes... He also listens to punk music to this end, and regularly champions the rights of the working man. Despite never actually having had a job himself. Or knowing what it's like to come from a family with no fucking money at all.

Fifthly, and lastly, everything about him was a glaring contradiction that only I seemed to notice. He was a little rich kid who had never worked but championed workers rights. On the sleeves of his oh-so-punk leather jacket, complete with self adorned slogans, were the words "Fuck Authority" and on the other sleeve an anarchy symbol. Surely, as an anarchist, which yes he claimed to be, he would not believe in authority? how would you go about fucking something you don't actually believe in? he might as well have "fuck the tooth fairy" written on his jacket. He wanted an end to all capitalism, yet went to a government funded university. He claimed that our government censors people's right to free speech. He claimed this freely. And often. Whilst at a government funded university. He believed communism was the only way forward, whilst his parents resided in a multi-million pound house in one of the richest areas of Switzerland. Surely in his utopian world view his own mum and dad would be first against the wall? Oh and to top it off, he claimed to be a pacifist, but said he would "genuinely kill George Bush if he had the opportunity". Which, you know... kind of... doesn't make you a pacifist.

I'll tell you what it makes you. It makes you a cock. A complete and utter cock.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 2:34, 14 replies)

this kind of prick
is the sort that manages to convince himself that
a) nobody understands him
b) he is rich and, therefore, above the law
and
c) life would be so much better if he killed his fascist parents.
don't be surprised if he ends up in jail on a double murder charge.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 2:40, closed)

Bitter much?
Sorry, but this post reads like most of the answers I have read on here.

Basically it translates as 'Wah wah wah, he was richer than me and a bit of a nob so he MUST be spoilt.'

I really hate class snobbery - and this post is a prime example of it.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 7:53, closed)

It has absolutely nothing to do with class snobbery.
I have several friends who are all what you would deem upper class, one of whom is actually a "lady", in the none gendered way. It isn't an issue between us in any way, but still I like how you automaticaly assumed that this was the case without actually knowing the guy and knowing how much of a prick he is.

One of my best friends at the time was a multi millionaire. His dad works for BP. His whole family is richer than I could ever wish to be in my wildest dreams.

The difference is, he was an awesome bloke, and at no point in time allowed his parents to pay his way through university. He worked for his money because he appreciated the value of being your own man, and not living out of mummy and daddy's back pocket. Moreover, at absolutely no point in time would he mention the fact that his parents were fucking loaded, unless you ended up talking specifically about that subject. I have the utmost respect for him, despite the fact that we both knew if times were hard his parents would bail him out no questions asked. But that isn't the point. It's a question of attitude.

I come back to my original post to point out that the person in question here was being paid entirely for by mummy and daddy, didn't have to work because he got an allowance, at 21 I might add, and STILL managed to be a massive prick on top of that.

The reason I know that he lives next door to Michael Schumacher is because he used to fucking brag about it all the time, amongst other things, like how he could afford to pay for his band to fly from switzerland with all their gear out of some money he had lying around.

He was a spoilt brat who, when it suited him, was desperately trying to prove otherwise.

As for being bitter, I couldn't be fucked with the guy until he started going out with one of my friends, started badmouthing me, and then cheated on her. At which point I came to the conclusion "wow, you are an utter cock".

Incidentally, I am very middle class, and quite comfortable with the fact. Thanks for reading between the lines.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:53, closed)

Um
You never say in your original post that he got an allowance, or that his parents paid for his uni.
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:29, closed)

I agree
The T in verte is pronounced when it's in the feminine form, so he wasn't wrong. And if he wants to call himself swiss, the he can. You say yourself that he lived there. I have german ancestry but I live in New Zealand. I call myself a New Zealander. Get over it.


He "wears the cheapest clothes he can find, often shopping in charity shops"

Oh boo hoo. So the guy doesn't flaunt his wealth by wearing designer brands. You would complain if he wore all showy clothing and now you're complaining because he doesn't.

"He also listens to punk music to this end"

OH YE GODS HOW DARE HE LIKE MUSIC

" and regularly champions the rights of the working man. Despite never actually having had a job himself. Or knowing what it's like to come from a family with no fucking money at all"

I champion the rights of ethnic minorities and homosexuals, despite not being one. You'd be complaining if he shat all over the working classes too.


Yes, there's probably more to it that what you've said to this story. And yes, the guy doesn't sound like the nicest guy in the world either. But the tone of the original post does make you sounds just bitter and jealous.
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 4:21, closed)

Fuck the tooth fairy.







That is all.
( Moey, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:39, closed)

I think I went to uni with him too...
... except my annoying bloke also made 'films' and would constantly run off to his room to make his 'films'. He even took a year out to concentrate on his 'films'. And he faked a Scottish-American hybrid accent. Total cock.

I'm not sure he was a cock because he was rich though. He's just a dick.
(Otter as serious as cancer, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 10:03, closed)

The pronunciation of vert/e
depends on the gender of the noun it's agreeing with. When it's with a masculin noun, say "chapeau" (hat) it's "vert", silent T, sort of like "vair". When it's agreeing with a feminine noun, say "chemise" (shirt), it's "verte", sounding something like "vairt".

Oh, and the Swiss might well talk in some kind of dialect where Ts that are silent in standard French are articulated. Don't quote me on that, but the southerners tend to elongate their Es and the Québecois are fucking inscrutible. Stranger things have happened.

Right, I'm off to my Aspects of the French Language Seminar. I think we're looking at regional variations again today. Occitan languages, probably. Then I've got a lecture on gender in the French language...
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 11:57, closed)

I wouldn't know either way.
I was shit at french.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:26, closed)

racing drivers on council estates..
don't be surprised... there's a small suburb of reading called tilehurst. In it, in the early 80s, lived a racing driver. you might've heard of him, he was called Ayrton Senna.
They have subsequently named the road after him - www.houseprices.co.uk/RG31-4JQ/
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 12:51, closed)

Well, I didn't know that.
Who'd have thought it...
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:34, closed)