horrendous pants
our school had a deeply unsexy 70's swimming pool and changing rooms, where the girls' cubicles cleverly backed onto the boys'. there is nothing like wrestling tights onto wet legs only to look up and see a row of about 15 boys grinning at your 11 year old chest (which looked exactly like theirs).

anyway, one day the archaic lighting system was down and we had to change in the dark. freed from the perving of the adolescent boys, it was still horribly difficult getting changed in the dark. laura sinclair, one of the girls in my class, part time fool and dithering champion for the uk, kept blundering into my cubicle. i kept throwing her out.

after the lesson, i returned to my black hole of calcutta cubicle and found laura's blouse and skirt on my floor. i gave them to her and got changed. on the way out, i saw one of my white socks from trampolining under the bench. i picked it up and stuffed it into my bag.

as we were all putting our shoes on, we could hear shouting from the cubicle. eventually the girls' teacher, a butch bull dyke who could model for prison barbers with hip measurements in treble figures, pounded out.

"has anybody seen laura sinclair's knickers?" she asked wearily and disbelievingly.

for a moment, i laughed with everyone else. then i froze as i remembered the "sock" i had found. i fought a battle with my conscience and, sadly for my reputation, lost. i opened my bag and pulled out laura sinclair's knickers.

"er - i have," i said feebly, handing them to the bull dyke. she just looked at me. then she said heavily,

"rachel, i'm very worried about you." and lumbered off with the pants [probably to spend many a happy lunch hour sniffing them].

it was totally horrendous.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Apr 2006, 16:19, Reply)