I was arrested for stalking Tom Waits
They have guns in America. eep

I was visiting some friends in Northern California about 5 years ago generally having a nice time, enjoying to good weather and fabourable exchange rate when my friend Stoner Pete announced he off to run some errands and did I fancy a ride, just to get out of the house kind of thing. I accepted, when you're not driving it can be kind of hard to get around that part of the world.

After a few stops to pick thing up, drop thing off Pete siad he was going to stop by a friends house who's girlfriend had just had a baby. Personally I have little interest in babies at the best of times but a friend of a frieds baby? on holiday? I expressed this to Pete who said " Hey, you like Tom Waits don't you? well he lives just a few blocks from my friend, why don't you go have a look while play with the baby and I'll meet you back here in half an hour"

That seemed like a good idea to me so off i toddled to have a look at my junkyard orchestra hero's house but there were a few key details I didn't know about.

1. Tom Waits enjoys living in an attractive suburben setting, but his next door neighbour is James Hetfield from Metallica

2. Recently Dimebag Darrell from the band Pantera had been murdered live on stage by a deranged fan. concequently the heavy metal community were taking their death threats *really* seriously. Although not into the metal scene I am 6'6" and had dreadlocks down to my backside

3. You don't walk 3 blocks in suburban California. If you do then you are obviously some sort of lunatic or too poor to afford a car. either way they don't want your sort round here!

The first I knew of this was when TWO police cars screeched to a halt just as I reached Tom Waits house and ordered me, at gunpoint, to lie on the ground. Eventually I got them to release me by being terribly British at them until they let me go.

ironically Tom wasn't even at home that day but Pete bumped into him at an all you can eat chinese buffet in Petaluma about 3 days later.
(Mickeyburns, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:17, 2 replies)

I love
being terribly British *at* Americans. It really does produce the strangest response!
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 20:20, closed)

well..
Glad you're un-injured.

good choice with the Tom Waitsism though.
You should email him with the story, he seems the kind of person who might find it amusing.

even better, email it every hour for a year.

And then have it tattooed on you and go and show it to him.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 11:44, closed)