Stalking
Reading about the arrogant comic who didn't even know he had a stalker reminded me of this:

You can't really say you're successful in comedy until you've had your first real stalker. Not just the sad cases who pester you via the internet - those are just wannabes - the sort who don't cook your pet rabbit, but just email recipes.

What I'm talking about the types who send you homemade greetings cards drawn in their own blood, which say "If you don't say you love me I will kill you". Fortunately, there is a way of cutting down the time taken to find these people - and it's called myspace. Just join up as a comedian, stick a up photo - and Robert is a close relative. Not only does myspace allow you to sift through potential stalkers by photo - look at the staring eyes on that one! - but also by geographic proximity, although the real weirdos will travel extraordinary distances just to post dog-shit through your letterbox.

Condensed from the full horror at www.stevedix.de/blog/445
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 15:42, Reply)