This guy I worked with once...
...well, I say once... he was only just made redundant about a month ago (unfortunately). The guy in question, I will call him L, for that is his first initial. L was a great laugh, always brought a smile to your face... and the biggest pervert known to man. Seriously, if you could think of something really perverted and offputting... he'd go further!

Anyway, at the time of this story, we knew he was hugely perverted, and somewhat of a sexual deviant... but always thought it was bravado, playing up to it and everything.

Monday morning rolls round, and a new week begins as per normal. Everyone is in the office, except for L who'd rang in sick that morning. Thinking it was a bit weird, he hadn't been ill on the Friday, life went on.

Tuesday afternoon comes, and the boss asks everyone for 5 minutes to have a talk about something. We all wondered what it could be... had we being doing some wrong? What could it be?

She starts off with saying "I need to inform you lot about L and what has been happening with him recently." We all sat in wonder, thinking what's happened... as something happened to him, his family, is he ill. What the hell is going on?

"L hasn't been in work for the past few days, he is worried about his family as him, his wife, and his sons are being stalker of a frequent basis." said the boss.

A moment of silence passed over the office...

...then the biggest cry of laughter ever!

No one could contain themselves... not even the boss. We couldn't actually believe what we had just heard. Sheer genius if this was a joke.

But on the serious side, we were told "If you see a middle-aged grey haired man hanging around in a silver Mercedes, report it to the police straight away." So, we kept a serious look out for this guy all week, but never once seen him.

Following week, L returns back to work, and instantly, he's interigated about the whole "stalking" situation. He started by saying "well, the guy stalking me was the chairman of a club that me and missus are members of..." With this, we thought the guy stalking him was just a nutter.

Later that day, he emails the office with a link to the clubs website. The email just simply said Club TANDO. We all clicked the link thinking nothing of it... until we realised that TANDO stood for the Tynedale and Newcastle District Outdoor club! And on the page was pictures of naked people playing a game of five-a-side.

Again... the office erupted in to a loud wave of laughter...

...and once the tears cleared, it all became apparent that L and his missus were members of a nudists club, with the chairman nudist stalking them.

But, this isn't the whole of it... about 5 minutes later... L confessed the true reason why this nutter was stalking them. Turns out, L and his missus, were also part of a swingers group, and this guy had obviously been with L's missus at some point... and wanted more.

Again... another loud eruption of laughter...

...we could believe what we were hearing. This was just completely crazy. But, in the end, it all turned out to be true.

After about a month, the nutter stopped stalking L's family... but the memories of finding out just how perverted, and nuts, L was is just priceless.



Never apologies for length, bigger is better.
(ShaunyBoi has been surviving fires since, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 12:37, 2 replies)

how exactly
does TANDO stand for North East Nudist Club..?
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Thu 7 Feb 2008, 13:16, closed)

sorry, couldn't resist
Tyneside All Nude Dog Ostracisers

yes i am bored.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 13:28, closed)