Hands That Do Mouth's Are As Soft As Your Face.....
My mother was a firm believer in making me and my brother drink Fairy Liquid if we ever swore (and as you can tell from the majority of my posts this clearly cunting worked in stopping me all the way through my adult cocking life). Not that uncommon in our day and age but Fuiru's post just reminded me that among the list of common swear words resulting in the lovely soapy cocktail was the word 'blast'! I'm not sure what's worse, being made to drink Fairy fucking Liquid for using such an innocent word or the fact that at some point during my formative years I actually faced up to the horrors of life with gritted teeth and the word blast. How frigging pretentious must I have been???

It's odd that the amount of Fairy Liquid my parents got through didn't attract the attention of the authorites. I know for a fact that none of my sweary vocab was learnt from the playground, it was all gleaned from my parents massively loud and frequent arguments. In fact I honestly believed that 'fucking' wasn't a swearword but the phrase 'fucking divorce' was. I'm not sure if that makes me naive or a just a fucktard. It seems really weird looking back now and realising that I got to drink washing up liquid on a regular basis because my parents were embarrassed that I'd gotten the words from them and someone else might find out. It's like being punished twice for something that's not even really your fault. In fact I only discovered one swearword for myself and that was when I tried to call my brother a 'twit' (Fairy Liquid tastes horrific btw, so I was playing it safe) but mispronounced it in a genuine accident and as ths slaps rained down and I was dragged off to the kitchen to sample the delights that lived under the sink I remember grinning at the amazing power of the word 'twat' I'd just discovered.

Anyway, fast forward to getting drunk with a neighbour in a pub many years later and he pointed out that when I'd first moved onto their street as an innocent (I thought) little seven year old, apparently I was known as the cool cursing kid and everyone wanted to play with me because they got to hear new and interesting swear words! Kudos!

So, any parents reading this, that tough love, fear of god bullshit, doesn't fucking well work. Just thought I'd let you know. Cunts.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Sun 11 Mar 2007, 10:04, Reply)