Needs to be said in a scouse accent
1. I was on the train from Bootle into Liverpool one evening about 10 years ago, and there were two 50-something women sat opposite me with very strong scouse accents. The first one asked the second one what she'd bought from 'Marksies' to which the second one replied, 'Are ay, I've bought some of that kwitchee (quiche)for our tea!'

2. Same journey, different day - three young lads were having a very serious discussion about the best way to commit suicide. It was all mundane stuff until one piped up, 'I'd chop me 'ead off wiv a samurai sword, cos they're the sharpest swords in the world so yer 'ead would come clean off like!'

3. Someone once overheard my mates reminiscing about their time at university in the Black Country. The earwigger in question then tapped one of them on the shoulder and said, 'A lot of my friends are from South Africa and I take great offence at the way you are talking their country.' The bloke looked a tad sheepish when my mate explained that the Black Country was just north of Birmingham.
(counterblast to agnosticism, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 12:28, Reply)