I used to work somewhere affectionately known as the spastic factory
This was infact a brewery, but the calibre of staff varied greatly.

Dale, for that is his name, was one such character. His stupidity knew no bounds. He believed that WWF, the wrestling lot not the pandas, was real, he didn't know where the sun went at night and believed you could catch up with a previous tube on the circle line, yours just had to go faster than the first one.

His job was to clean the brewing vessels, large, stainless steel tubs that he would climb down into and scrub with various chemicals. The previous person to do this job was in the process of suing the company as using these products in a confined space had given him respiratory problems.

To err on the side of caution and health and safety Dale was given a monitoring device, which would beep at regular intervals, the closer together the beeps, the more hazadous gas in the air, and so, you would think, a constant beep would result in a hasty exit.

Not so for Dale. One day I look over the tun whilst trying to locate this annoying buzzing, and see Dale happily scrubbing away with all manner of chemicals. "What's that buzzing Dale?" I ask.

"It's this thing. Motinors (sic) the air."

"Surely that buzzing's not good"

"Nah mate! Got to be worried if it stops making a sound. Then there'll be no air in here"

At that point I decided to stop the conversation and let him get on with it. Last I heard he was off on extended sick leave.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 16:08, 4 replies)

Sounds like a guy dealt a shit hand in life of being as thick as two short planks, ends up with a shit job.

Least he’s not a cunt though, eh?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 3 Mar 2011, 16:25, closed)

Unfortunately he was a cunt too
The idiot mentality tends to run to casual racism and the assumption that the Daily Mail prints the truth.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 18:27, closed)

He may be daft
But he knows his physics, alright.

*click*
(SimianKid internet faffer, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 17:10, closed)

So, a Circle Line tube train, travelling faster than the train in front
would never catch up? Zeno's paradox isn't taken seriously anymore, y'know.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 19:31, closed)