Hoover boy
A blond, curly-haired, lanky Scottish guy got an internship at a former workplace of mine. Each morning he was clearly either coffee-grappling his way out of a K-hole or the most depressed creature on the planet. He had made it clear to us that he didn't need the position with a series of smug remarks about his uni grades and how his dad was a big-time producer for the BBC. We thought he was a bit of a prat, but presumed some intelligence was packed behind the arsey exterior.

Anyway, one afternoon, him being an intern and all (I was too, but working in a fancier kind of slavery) and there not being much on, I asked him to hoover a smallish office. Brought him the hoover, left him to it.

'Ok', he said.

I went back to my desk round the corner.

There followed twenty-five minutes of silence.

Eventually I went to see if he was alive.

I find him, chin in hand, staring intently at the hoover, which is still lying on the ground, lifeless.

'What's wrong?' I say.

'I can't get the hoover to work. I think it's broken.'

I look down at it.

'It's not plugged in.'

Tit.
( John Q Wagonwheel Spent, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 22:12, 6 replies)

To be fair, he was hardly the sharpest tool in the box if he was willing to accept a job that doesn't actually pay anything.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 22:50, closed)

The times they are a'changing.
It's basically required now. What a wonderful world.
( John Q Wagonwheel Spent, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 22:52, closed)

Really?
What's your line of work.

Also, if you're routinely expected to work for nothing how are you supposed to earn a living if your parents and/or partner can't or won't support you financially?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 22:55, closed)

Do you ever wonder if you might be taking a light-hearted comedy website a little bit too seriously?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 23:56, closed)

No.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 23:59, closed)

Splendid.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 12:04, closed)

Well that's pretty much the question, isn't it?
Can't remember who it was who said 'The upcoming working generation is much more intellectually advanced, much more intelligent and yet enormously less independent'. Probably some rich, famous berk.

I challenge you to invent a device that makes you 21, go to the past and try to get a job without 'experience'.

Actually, if you've made a device that makes you 21, you'll be making so much money that it really won't be a problem.
( John Q Wagonwheel Spent, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 0:11, closed)

Fuck it, if they're well-spoken and they've got nice tits they can have the job!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 0:21, closed)

I hear there's a surgeon who can give me a gorgeous pair
Do I make the cut?
( John Q Wagonwheel Spent, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 0:28, closed)

Only if you agree to become the manager's bit on the side and bear his illegitimate children.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 0:29, closed)

Does that come with stock options?

( John Q Wagonwheel Spent, Sun 6 Mar 2011, 0:37, closed)