Not so much a dare....



But a wistful dream amongst all us kids in the neighbourhood. A dream to be the first to climb to the top of a very tall pine tree. Everybody had given it a try and everyone had failed.

One day, while strolling along all by myself, I found myself at the tree and decided to have a go.

I climbed up and up and up. Up past the awkward bit where you had to swing halfway around the trunk to get to the next branch and upwards into the stratosphere. I got to the bendy branches which could barely take my weight and clung to the whip-like top of the tree to admire the view. I'd done it! I was the first to ever climb to the top only... only there wasn't a soul around to see it. Bollocks. So I decided I'd better climb back down and set off.

I didn't get very far when my foot slipped and down I went. I must have bounced a good third of the way down before one of the larger branches broke my fall. I managed to get down the rest of the way covered in green mould, scratches and several painful bruises.

As I was checking myself over, this man, dragging a dog on a lead came running over. I turned, grinning at him in the sure knowledge that he had witnessed my triumph. He had, only he didn't reckon that it was a victory of man over nature. In short, I was called a little fool, eejit and more besides for nearly killing myself.

I headed homewards and comforted myself with the thought that at least I had done the impossible and it had been witnessed.

A few days later and the council parks department showed up at the tree. They lopped off all the lower branches until there was a 10-15 foot stetch of bare trunk. It seems that Mr. Dogwalker had phoned up to complain about the health hazard and reminded the council about public liability.

So, despite me swearing that I'd done the deed, nobody believed me and the tree became legendary for being the one nobody ever conquered.
(Fanta Menace Is tall enough to see over the fence, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 10:49, Reply)