Cut the "it was a lot of money in them days" shit out
We all know if you were in the same situation now you'd likely do it for the same amount of money anyway...

Right. Dares.

My favourite story didn't involve me other than a spectator however it was definitely worth it. I must've been about 10 or 11 at the time and out playing in Sandbach park (for those who know it). There was a great set of swings there - really tall, great fun and probably completely illegal in the current nanny state. Anyhoo - mate and I spotted a guy from the year above at school swinging away on them so we wander over and shoot the shit for a bit. He gives us a bit of stick (as any older lad of this age would), we point out he's a billy no mates, he tells us to fuck off and says he's waiting to meet someone. Anyway, I forget how this escalated but it culminated in my mate saying to this guy "I bet you daren't jump off the swing as high as you can go." Well, laddo (I remember his name but it'd be unfair to tell you it was Oliver ********) says we're a pair of pussies and of course he can.

So he does.

In fairness to the guy he gave it everything. Not content with jumping at the top of the swing's travel and thus maximising height, he jumped just before this and maximised travel full stop. Think of the flash game with the polar bear batting penguins and getting the highest possible score.

Now this might've involved a sprained ankle at worse and a bit of a loss of pride. However the swings faced slightly downhill and the one Oliver was on had a medium sized prickly bastard of a tree about 6 or so yards in front of it.

Which he hit full on. I can honestly say I have never seen anyone move such a large distance and height without the aid of an engine of some description.

Oliver got up and tried to hold back the tears, as ignoring the fact he'd twatted the tree he'd done it, albeit with some subsequent pain. He was going to be telling his mates all about this and how he'd jumped higher than anyone else.

My mate, pointing and looking slightly white, started stuttering "Your arm Ollie, shit, your arm..." Ollie looked down at his left arm, now sporting a second elbow, burst out crying and started running home. Getting his timing almost perfect he ran past the lad who he was waiting to meet.

In fairness this guy went from doing something stupid that no-one would've cared about to experiencing a broken arm, getting two weeks off school and getting serious kudos as the two little bastards who'd been there were only happy to regale the story.

I think the moral is if you're going to make bets or dares, always ensure someone in the group is less intelligent/more gullible than you. There's definitely a lesson here for some of you.

Of all the things I've done over the years (which aren't going to appear here as I've a nasty feeling I know some of you) I seriously can't believe some of you have either eaten shit or got someone else to do it. I'd say I'd have paid to see it but after that 2girls1cup/cupchicks business a few weeks back I haven't got the stomach anymore...
( dan j what the buggery bollocks is this?, Fri 2 Nov 2007, 22:38, Reply)