Death by Tequila
This still remains simultaneously the proudest and most terrifying moment of my life.

A few years back, I spent 6 months as a DJ in a bar in Gran Canaria. Drug and alcohol abuse is rife among the ex-pats in places like this, and I was lucky to return to Blighty with my liver intact.

Anyway, one typical night I was drinking the local workers special (basically a pint of vodka with half a can of red bull and lots of ice) while entertaining the crowd and spinning the tunes. Not sure how it came about (these things had a habit of happening quite regularly), but a drinking contest was called for between me and a holiday-maker, and as we were all seasoned pro's, we found it funny to watch the holidaying hardmen lose some face, so we set it up.

One game we used to play was the shots and eyes game, where you would line up say four shots of white spirit, neck three and then slam the other into your eye to finish, then challenge the other guy to do the same. Of course, that would be silly so the last shot was always water, and we would stop the holiday guy just before he did himself some serious damage/blindness.

This particular night though, nobody told me that my mark was an ex-rep - possibly the only people who can drink more than resort DJ's...
Long story short, he was wise to this and rumbled my shot of water, and using his people skills, turned my crowd against me. And so it came to pass that I was to be punished for my trickery, and an 8oz glass, FULL of gold tequila was produced from behind the bar.

Now, at this point it is worth mentioning that of all the liqour on this earth, tequila is the one thing I just can't stand. It tastes like shit, makes you puke and is just all round wrong stuff.

Anyway, by this point the whole crowd was cheering, so I thought, "Fuck it, why not" - I had to win them back, so I went for it.
About half way through I thought, "If I can finish the glass without puking, I'll be able to handle it" and so I did. Didn't puke, didn't lose face, and won back my crowd, sending the ex-rep scuttling away, tail between his legs.

That's not to say there were not downsides to the whole thing. That night remains to this day the only night I have ever sworn over a microphone...

Length? Way too long José...
(UXB you said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 10:40, Reply)