when I was at uni
My friend G and myself were sat in a lovely, quiet bar in the city of Carlisle. Now, that particular night we were celbrating something or other and were really quite drunk when another innebriated fellow came sat with us. He was one of these annoying types who is instantly really over-familiar and starts playfighting with my mate G, pinching his nipples and that. G get quite upset at this invasion of his personal space and warns the drunkard off. He suddenly changes of from affable but annoying to hostile and threatening, telling us that he'll fuck us up and put some serious hurt on our asses. G turned to the man and said slowly and deliberately: "I don't feel pain, I just inflict it" - line that we laugh about to this day. The drunk guy tells us to prove it, so we turned to each other, then back to him and slowly grind our fags out in the palm of our hand.

This seemed to do the trick, as he just sort of wandered off after that, less impressed than we'd hoped, but at least he'd gone.

As soon as his back was turned, me and G silently screamed in agony, grabbing ice out of our drinks to soothe the wounds.

Took 2 weeks to heal completely, with horribly jelly hand innards on show for a couple of days...
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Mon 5 Nov 2007, 12:19, 2 replies)

Not that I wish to case aspersions,
But would it not have been a better follow up to the line "I dont feel pain, I inflict it" if you'd put the cigarettes out, for example, on his face?
Not a critique, you understand, I only bring it up because the guy sounded like a complete wankshaft, and probably deserved it.
(Vic Flange, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 12:27, closed)

in hindsight
yes
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Mon 5 Nov 2007, 15:11, closed)