To one of my old flatmates - it isn't a 'gegabyte'.
Jennifer, or Jen. I think she introduced herself as Jen because the extra sylla-ma-bles in her own name confused her.
She was doing Aerospace Engineering at the same time I was studying English Language and Literature, so naturally she was the clever one. Of all the displays of ignorance you can imagine, the kind of person who's too thick to understand that they aren't intelligent provides the most laughs (as well as constant facepalming and a fear of them opening their stupid mouths again).
Apparently she was disqualified from ever actually being a pilot because one of her legs was too short. After a mere month of living with her, I decided that the truth was that her brain was too short.

She didn't cook. She couldn't cook. As far as I know, she lived entirely on Cheesy Pasta and the output of a takeaway that I can only compare to CMOT Dibbler's sausages. It's called 727. It's in Glasgow. Avoid. Anyway. Curious about her severely restricted diet (I wasn't trying to change her mind; her death from malnutrition would only have my life less stupid) I quizzed her about this one day.
Turned out she didn't know how cooking worked. At all. Not 'she couldn't cook'; she didn't understand the concept. I can't remember the exact phrases, but the gist was something along the lines of

"How do you know what ingredients to use? How can you heat them up all at the same time? I'd get confused. It doesn't make sense to me."
"So you can manage one thing at once right? Even it that one thing is just microwaving sachets of Cheesy Pasta?"
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Okay. Tell you what, me and Gav will show you how to make a simple curry. We can even use the microwave for most of it."
"I dunno..."
"Come on, it's easy. Get the rice out of the cupboard and put it in the bowl, set it on low for ten minutes and we'll start chopping vegetables."

Eight or nine minutes later...

"No, the narrower end is the sharp bit, you hold the other end and...what's that smell? Is something burning?"
"Shit, is Jen trying to think?"
"Shut up dickhead."
"Haha. No seriously."
"...it's the rice. It's all black. Jen didn't put water in it."
"I didn't know you were supposed to do that..."

Word of advice - when headdesking, make sure you have a nice safe sturdy desk to do it on. I ended up planting my face straight into a frying pan full of hot oil and sizzling onions in dismay*. That's why I'm so pretty** these days. But that incident pales into comparison to a discussion we had about computers. Jen was a computer whiz. Her daddy told her so. So when I claimed it was pronounced 'gigabyte', I was shot down in paroxysms of scorn.
"It's megabyte, so therefore it's gegabyte"
"Even though it's spelled with an i?"
"Yes."
"No, it's based on the Greek prefixes for thousand, million etc."
"No it isn't."
"I see. So presumably we also have kegabytes, tegabytes and so forth? Instead of kilobytes etc?"
"What's a kegabyte?" (or possibly 'yeah it is kegabyte'. I forget, but it's all the same really.)
"I'm going to murder you now, Jen."

Thankfully I don't see her much any more, but she's still an arrogant prat when I do. Sigh. Thank God for beer, eh?


*Not true. Thankfully. I was tempted though. Physical pain is nothing compared to the pain of dealing with the Truly Stupid
**Also not true, but that's sheer coincidence.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:22, 5 replies)

*Clicks Hard*

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:37, closed)

needs more
'Nuff said
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:46, closed)

Sorry
Posting fail. Editing in progress.

Note to self: stop pressing 'enter' in the subject line.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:47, closed)

Oooh 727. Nasty. Turd in a bap territory. That confirmed it for me really
(willydoc, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 19:05, closed)

there were 3 lads where I work who thought 1000GB was called a tigabyte.
mongs.
( parttimedogfish is a Born-Again Reincarnationist, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 20:12, closed)