I used to work at a steakhouse
Sometimes people would ask for inches instead of ounces when ordering steaks. An example: "Could I get a nine inch sirloin?"

My reply: "I've got nine inches of loin for you."

I used to work in a steakhouse.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 15:58, 7 replies)

I know it's somewhat off topic but....
I simply can’t stand it when people use “Can I get” instead of “Please may I have”. Frankly, it makes my ears bleed when I hear this staggering display of ignorance of the English language. Why do people think it is cool to speak this way? The phrase these buffoons are looking for is “Please may I have a steak”, or “I would like a steak please”. NOT “Please can I GET a steak”.

If you are, for example, in a restaurant and have it in mind to go into the kitchen, remove a steak from the fridge, cook it yourself, and bring it back to your table without the help of the waiter or kitchen staff, then by all means use the phrase “Can I get a steak?” I should imagine however the answer would be ‘No’. Otherwise, when you are asking the waiter for a steak, you should politely say “Please may I HAVE a steak”.

So, well done for humouring these people with a witty repartee. Personally I would have had no choice but to stab them in the head with a steak knife…….

“Can I get an ambulance?” No, you can’t, however I will gladly arrange one for you when you learn to ask properly, you staggering great cock.

Sorry.

Rant over.
(marcooosa has no idea what a board sig is, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:12, closed)

And... breathe
Actually, I find that sort of thing hateful too. It's an example of the Americanisation of English, like when someone is asked how they are, they reply with "I'm good."
No, while you may be good at something, or a good person, so far as health is concerned, you are in fact "well".

Have a nice day, y'all.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 17:49, closed)

as in
"How may I help you" instead of how can I?

I deal with this daily. I'm so used to hearing it that it doesn't even register.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 19:23, closed)

Calm down.
Go take two years of linguistics, and you will get over this sort of thing.

Do you understand what they mean? If yes, then there is no real cause for complaint.

Take for example that great bugbear of the grammar nazis: the apostrophe. Did you know that the genitive apostrophe is a relatively recent invention (about the 17th century)? Previously we just used an s. The apostrophe was meant to help distinguish plurals from genitives, which in turn was caused by a long term trend in English towards 's' as an indicator of the plural through various linguistic shifts. Take the word cherry. The plural was cherrisen and the singular was cherrise. Ignorant numpties are the reason we have cherry and cherries today, and pea and peas (was pease and peasen).
And speaking of genitive, the use of the apostrophe seems to have disappear from genitives, and is given only to "possessives". When's the last time you saw some-one write "a year's salary".

The grammar nazis have had their impact on language, too. The idea that Latin grammar is the only valid grammar was strong for a long time. So we ended up with silly notions that you can't end a sentence with a proposition, or split an infinitive despite the fact that English works differently to Latin, and that people had been splitting infinitives and ending sentences with prepositions for a long time before they learnt Latin grammar.

The list is near endless. Take the word 'can'. Originally it meant "to know". However, English has undergone deep structural change from a fairly highly inflected language with numerous verb (and noun and adjectival) forms to one where we now use modal verbs all over the place.

Language changes. Some want it to change one way, others want it to change another, and some rather it didn't. The tension between all these groups creates the language we use.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 12:59, closed)

ha!
Damn you and your fair, equitable and even handed approach to this debate.

Also, I think you meant "Go AND take two years of linguistics..."

Oh forget it - I'll GET my coat!
(marcooosa has no idea what a board sig is, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 14:56, closed)

Well said.
If you understand what they mean, there's no problem.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:49, closed)

Did you used to work in Chicago, in a department store?
(Benzyl, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 19:59, closed)