In 1998 a Peshawar taxi driver apparently confused the "smugglers' bazaar" market described in the Lonely Planet handbook with the real smugglers' bazaar through the Khyber Pass in Afghanistan
As a result me and three friends found ourselves at an outdoors arms and drugs market, (after passing two signs that said in big English letters "NO FOREIGNERS BEYOND THIS POINT") where guys in headdresses bought and sold AKs, pistols, heroin and hash in quantities I've never seen before or since. To add a certain frisson to the atmosphere, they would test their new purchases by exuberantly firing them into the air. After politely explaining to the men who approached us that we really weren't interested in buying guns, drugs or women, we managed to find a bus going back to Peshawar but it was boarded by police at the border, we were arrested at gunpoint and put in the cells. Four bowel-clenching hours later, we got to talk to the officer in charge who let us go with the advice: "Taxi drivers are scoundrels!"

TL:DR; Went to Afghanistan by mistake, got arrested, talked our way out of it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 27 Jul 2015, 21:19, 22 replies)

blimey
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 27 Jul 2015, 22:17, closed)

Is your account being hijacked by 8yo jihadis?

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 28 Jul 2015, 12:34, closed)

I preferred the original version of this where you took a tourist hippy bus half way up, never got within ten miles of the border, and got warned by a perfectly friendly Pakistani police officer who didn't even hint at arresting you.
Have you retired that version of the anecdote?
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 28 Jul 2015, 19:15, closed)

That was the first time.
This is the cover story for arranging a massive drugs for arms shipment.
(speedevil, Tue 28 Jul 2015, 20:17, closed)

Ooh, have you got a link to that version?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 29 Jul 2015, 16:38, closed)

Why? It was like a tedious gap yah tale. I'm glad you've livened it up with some lies.
Bit rude to recast your parents as 'friends' though given that they paid for the trip.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 29 Jul 2015, 18:18, closed)

Never took a "gap yah", sorry
Sounds like you're projecting again
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Jul 2015, 8:21, closed)

nobody said you did, pet
for a start people don't take their parents and they usually go to university afterwards
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Thu 30 Jul 2015, 17:48, closed)

Yes, you did, you said it was a "tedious gap yah tale".
From whence would a "gap yah tale" originate if not from a "gap yah"?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 10:20, closed)

You don't need "from" with "whence", pet.
You'd know that if you'd gone to university.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 12:32, closed)

No-one cares, chum.
You'd know that if you'd left university.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 14:43, closed)

Did your parents give you any pocket money with which to purchase souvenirs?
it's fun to haggle with the locals when you're on family trips
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 1:05, closed)

He bartered with duplicate action figures that his stupid grandma bought him for Christmas even though he gave her a meticulous list

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Fri 31 Jul 2015, 12:33, closed)