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This is a question Surprise!

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver asks: Ever given granny a heart attack on her 90th birthday or knocked down the wall between the living room and kitchen by mistake before the wife gets home? Tell us tales of surprises and their fluffy and/or messy endings.

(, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 12:10)
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Just brazils?
When I was a toddler, my mother gave me a chocolate covered brazil nut, which if you ask me is rather irresponsible (she has also hidden chicken bones in my mashed potato, I think she wants me dead). Anyway, I don't remember anything about this, but apparently I grabbed it and went on my merry way. About 20 minutes later my mother was vacuuming the living room when she saw the brazil nut lying on the carpet. She had a quick look around to see if anyone was watching before she ate food off the floor like a hobo. The coast was clear, so she picked it up and quickly threw the sweetie into her salivating gob.

It was a piece of shit that had fallen out of my nappy.
(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 19:32, 8 replies)
And you know this because she told you.

(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 21:13, closed)

My dad told me.
(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 21:16, closed)
The coast was clear and no-one was watching, apart from daddy who was watching.
Either that, or she told him afterwards.
(, Sun 7 Apr 2013, 15:32, closed)
Not that there's anything with writing internet fantasy fiction about your mother consuming your own shit, you understand.

(, Sun 7 Apr 2013, 17:27, closed)
His mam's Veronica Moser Drimbly.

(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 21:56, closed)
What'd it taste like?

(, Sat 6 Apr 2013, 22:13, closed)

My da heard her throw up, it was violent, apparently.
(, Mon 8 Apr 2013, 0:03, closed)

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